swipe: post pandemic weariness.

As I settle into this evening moment with my decaf coffee, bible, and laptop, I have one objective: to shake off this day. It is the only thing I can do at the moment. My bandwidth is low and the output too high. And as you might already know, it’s really only when my heart is heavy that I can write. So write I will.

Work has been a beast. Stifling and exhausting and draining. You might relate. Spending time with one client after another, attempting to alleviate their frustrations, offer them guidance, encourage their weary souls. Listen as closely as I can and put my own worries aside. It’s what we do as coaches. It’s what I love to do. But today I feel a toll. I try to manage my work days with good boundaries and a broader perspective. I know that God is far bigger than all this. He is far greater than the most challenging day at work. But because I also have many of the same emotions as my clients, if I don’t shake off this day, I can become lost in a smoldering darkness of my own. And from the conversations I have with clients (and co-workers) day in and day out, I know I am not alone. Post-pandemic woes aside, many are now worn out from lack of staffing, long hours, lay offs, and frustrated customers. It's everywhere.

Now I am no science nerd, but I can’t help but think of Fall when trees that shake off their leaves…excess leaves that when the tree needs to conserve energy, can drain the roots. Shedding leaves conserves resources. Good to know.

A friend of mine some months ago described how she shuts down at the end of the day. She said some days are just days to “swipe left”. I thought that was super clever then, but today I actually get it. Swipe left, closing out tabs that drain and strain resources. We simply can’t leave every tab open all the time or we will fry our circuit panels. Or kill the tree. Honestly, I’d like to swipe left the last week. For sure, the last 8 months. Or actually the last few years. You too?

In this post-pandemic era, we are tired. I know I am. I have felt homesick - and I don’t mean from any place here on earth. It seems the elasticity of our patience has worn and our optimism strands are shorter. We are running on empty and glazed over. If you don’t believe me just try to find good customer service somewhere. Perhaps we are wandering, weary travelers in search of how things used to be. Sojourners, as the Israelites were for 40 years as they wandered in the desert. We are longing for the days before COVID existed. Trying to find where we disappeared and how we got to this strange place.

It’s been a long season of trauma, fear, division, anxiety, illness and mourning. Many of us became imprisoned and isolated in our homes, senior living facilities or hospitals. Another many of us became medicated. Many died. Safety was loosened and we remained in constant states of elevated stress responses: fight or flight. Our nervous systems are shot y’all, and they’re having trouble returning to normal. Maybe this is our new normal. Yikes.

Regardless, it impacts us. Our bodies have absorbed tremendous stress over the last few years, and we are still unsure of the rippling effects to come. I know this seems like a downer…but it’s happening all around us and needs to be talked out, and somehow the pressure let off. Feelings need to be processed.

So some things are indeed too heavy to be swiped away. But just as God provided manna to the Israelites and He will provide for us too.

When I have had enough, when the volume is too loud at work and I need to tune out, when I cannot be properly present for another person, is it ok to swipe left my job? My clients? My responsibilities? Of course not. But I am quite sure I used to be able to handle more - pre-pandemic. Perhaps it’s that brave, compassionate person I lost that I am tirelessly trying to reconnect with. Have you misplaced your patience? Have you lost perspective of where you are? Have you taken up a heart of hopelessness or cynicism? Have you become someone you hardly recognize these last few years?

So many of us have. You are not alone. I know, I have wanted to jump off this bullet train myself.

I believe COVID has changed us in our cores. But I also believe God allowed the pandemic, and all it’s havoc, to bring about some part of His overall plan. We may not now, or ever, understand how it fits into eternity. But I trust it does; and all the moving pieces are necessary for the strengthening of our faith. Spend some time in 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 if you need some assurance. Because nothing is wasted. God is mighty and resourceful, and brings beauty from ashes. Yes, He does.

In the meantime, here we are stranded in this post-trauma haze trying to figure out what to do with all the stress circulating in our bodies and weariness in our bones. What now? Do we have another 37 years in the desert to go?

At the moment, I am relaxing at Summer Moon Coffee. Ironic yes, since we have become coffee roasters, but nonetheless I love this place and will continue to support it. I am facing a window that overlooks, across the street, the towns festive Christmas tree center, all bright with lights. It’s dark and rainy outside, and cars are scurrying about. But there, across the street, one tall Christmas tree stands above the rest, topped with a huge lighted star. The glowing white star shines out over all the cars, all the traffic, all the noise, straight toward me. And I cannot miss it.

Which takes me to the apostle Peter where I remember the mention of a star rising in our hearts. Peter wrote two letters, 1 and 2 Peter, to mostly Gentiles who were living in exile, strangers on earth, lost and feeling empty as they yearned for signs from God. Peter encouraged them to look to eternity and Heaven as their home, relying on God’s strength not their own.

In 1 Peter 1, he reminds them to be ready in every opportunity to be obedient, trusting in the prophesies they had heard and remaining willing instruments in God’s hands. He warns against being ‘short sighted’ which caused some to be so fixed on what they could ‘see’ in this world that they lost sight of what they could not ‘see’ in heavenly places to come. Basically, shake off promised struggles of this world and use their resources to live Holy lives of hope. Finally, he advises them to pay attention to the scriptures, as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. - 2 Peter 1: 19. Ahh...perhaps we need to let the star rise in our hearts today.

When I consider the bright star shining across the street, I am reminded that I must keep my focus on Heavenly things. Stay a willing instrument in Gods hands even when it is difficult or I want to give up. His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. - 1 Peter 1: 3. This assures us that it is not our own strength we have to rely on - all the strength we need for this day is already provided should we choose to tap into that resource. Remember all He has done in my life and all He will do. Stay firmly planted in hope.

Still, there is this pressing need to shake off this day. What does that really look like? Maybe it means recognizing what things are draining our reservoir and letting them fall away. Like a tree shedding leaves, we simply cannot hold every one forever. Some things must be let go. Deciding which to hold and which to let loose takes discernment. Maybe it means shaking off the person who cut me off on my way here tonight, the client who took out frustrations on me, the management decision I had no control over, or the rising price of milk. Letting loose some of the worries I have about the future that are out of my hands and in His. Swiping left the aches and pains in my body and keeping my eyes fixed on Heaven where I will eventually, eternally, be relieved of all pain. Letting go of small bothers so that our resources are available to properly manage the important ones. Yes Covid has certainly been a huge drain on our resource banks but I desperately want to recover from this season. Don't you?

Another thing it may look like is actually recognizing and processing this weariness. All that has happened and is still happening. Our bodies absorb and store stress and trauma which can cause horrible effects on our health. In order for our body to properly recover from stress, it has to properly process and release the stress. Acknowledge how you feel, determine if it is true or not, and then let it wash through you and exit your body. Mourn what is lost, what did not go the way you had hoped, and then send it away with a proper goodbye. Leave it at the cross. Then move your body more, breathe deeper, improving stress hormone levels, and take care of yourself.

Today may you choose a few things to prayerfully shake off. Let go of what is draining your trees roots. It is winter friends, a good time to preserve resources. Let the promised Savior, the true North Star, light your way as eternity awaits your coming home. May your perspective stay holy and your hearts overflow with abundant hope.