As I considered the new little pine trees we had planted in our yard, it occurred to me this morning that the needles might be longing for water. It’s been pretty dry lately. Maybe they’re longing for cooler temperatures. Maybe longing for the dirt they were originally sprouted from before moved to our yard, a foreign soil. I suppose this longing might be applied to many things, living things that is.
I know I have longings. I have groanings. Groaning in the sense of a deep inner anguish, or moaning, for something. Do trees and flowers and animals have longings? Actually yes, scripture tells us that the whole earth is groaning for Heaven, so too shall we. All created things suffer this common misery.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for Gods sons to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to futility - not willingly, but because of him who subjected it - in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage to decay in to the glorious freedom of God’s children. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now. Not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the first fruits - we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:18-25
As I let that entire Romans passage really wash over me, it overwhelms me with emotions and an almost visceral gasp of gratefulness. So yeah…we all have longings, we all cry out. The whole earth does. We are not unique in that.
Furthermore, in Habakkuk 2:11, even the stones and timber cry to heaven for vengeance, as the whole creation groans under the sin of man and waits to be delivered from the bondage of corruption.
So my yearnings are many times for Heaven itself, but other times for things of this world. Fleeting comforts, pleasures, control. I am often faced with unfulfilled desires and unmet expectations. I know my eternal longings for home will be fulfilled and come to pass someday. But in the day to day mess of life, there are other longings that are left undone, lacking. Left unaccomplished. Preferences not reached. Disappointments that leave aching, yet empty holes where hope once lived. These can look different for you and I but the hollowness of them is the same.
My eyes are worn out from crying. Lord, I cry out to you all day long; I spread out my hands to you. Psalm 88:9
Today I am experiencing one of these holes. My longings have given way to anger, which has given way to depression and shame. Frustrations over earthly things that really have no place in Heaven. In fact, these situations won’t even exist in Heaven…but they do exist now. Trying to get back to a better version of myself, my health and my body, though barriers keep stopping that. Managing chronic pain and injuries that have robbed many of the joys in my life for nearly a full year. Obstructing my best life. I’ve been feeling angry, depressed, frustrated and ashamed. However, in this woeful season, I know I have far more things to be grateful for (there comes shame). How can I complain about my own circumstances when there are a million other terrible circumstances in the world. Probably even many of your circumstances. Surely I have nothing going on compared to the apostle Paul. I have not been stoned, shipwrecked or left for dead. But my concerns are mine to own, and they are real. Just as yours are uniquely yours to bear.
Paul does however have some wisdom for us in his letter to the church in Philippi.
I know both how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. Philippians 4:12
Today I am choosing to admit these unmet expectations and frustrations about things in my life without feeling guilty or ashamed, because God allows me to. He allows me so that I may be spurred to call upon Him and give all my concerns to Him through faith and prayer. So I can remember my total, utter reliance on Him. I can cry out and trust that He will provide what I need, healing to come, or pain to cease whenever He sees fit. And not a minute sooner.
He cares for every one of us, not just the most severe distresses. He cares for and wants our surrender of every unmet desire, unfinished dream or case of self pity. In fact, He wants us to feel our longings and then pray for them, demonstrating our full dependence on Him. We can suffer well, and not lose trust in God. We can rejoice at all times. May our despairs and grumblings drive us to praise!
This all takes me to the scripture I have been preaching to myself from the sweet book of Habakkuk. Here in this short book, the prophet is complaining to the Lord. Like I have been. He spends three chapters praying to the Lord over his grumblings. He sees the people rejecting God and a wrath about to be unleashed. But Habakkuk maintains his confidence in the Lord, despite his moans.
The book ends with this encouragement in chapter 3:17-19…Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!
As I realize hard seasons will all, too, pass, they do provide us ample opportunity to grow in our faith and deepen our need for a Savior. These seasons of trial and can be the very conduit for our spiritual life to flourish. In this very moment, what can you celebrate in the Lord for? What goodness can you recognize? Like Habakkuk, we are able to walk on mountain heights and rejoice in the view!
Comments