step up to the plate and swing...
Man, I have struggled to get this post out. I finished and deleted and restored and edited it a few times and I have no idea why.
Again, today I am praying for words to spill onto this page in a holy way…supernaturally…because there is no other way to approach a tender (and hard to hear) subject: neglect. It has been on my mind. Perhaps you have been neglected in some way, or maybe you yourself have neglected something, or someone. Or for some of you, like me, both cases. And while it’s not a very uplifting topic, it needs to be talked about. The subject alone should not be neglected.
Let’s start with a simple lay definition of neglect: failure to care for properly. Merriam-Webster defines it as ‘to give little attention or respect to; disregard; leave undone or unattended to through carelessness’. Hence, the antonyms, or opposite of neglect: to take part; to tend to; to remember; to keep; to preserve, to maintain.
In a biblical context, neglect might translate to be careless of or be negligent, abandon, and the opposite is to steward. So we can steward what God provides us, or we can be careless with it. This could be His provisions, gifts, grace, or instructions. There are many rabbit trails here. (for more, you can check out another post: https://michellehatter.wixsite.com/givengrace/post/pull-a-friend-back-into-line)
Have you ever ran a hot bath and then got sidetracked with something else? Left unattended, the suds diminish and the bath water becomes lukewarm. So too can things of even much more importance. I can't help but consider so much of the Israelites who repeatedly neglected and abandoned Gods commands. Ignored warnings. They over and over and over neglected Him. Talking about the residue of neglect in our own lives is hard but necessary. It might drudge up past hurts or convict us today. But we need to be aware of what we need to improve, and also be aware of pitfalls to avoid.
Let's get to it. There are at least these four types of neglect: emotional, physical, educational or medical. But for today, I am mostly referring to the first two. For some of us, it started early. Perhaps in childhood, with neglectful parents or caregivers. Our needs went unmet, our feelings not allowed, love withheld. We don’t have to spend a long time here to know if you relate. If so, you know the damage that was done. The shrapnel of neglect in my own childhood permeated into adulthood and damaged many, many things. Even through forgiving and restoring, the remnants of neglect still remain today. They have invaded relationships, and responsibilities. Like scars, they fade, but never completely go away.
If you were uncared for, neglected or abandoned in childhood, your adulthood is impacted.
What are the remnants? Damage to self image, self confidence, and self esteem. There might be a lack of trusting others, or the extreme desire to control things, since others around you were unreliable or left you vulnerable and unsafe. You learned to hide your feelings because they were not allowed, or they went unacknowledged. Maybe you never learned how to properly manage feelings which led to addictions or poor self regulation - unhealthy coping mechanisms. Feelings may overwhelm you. Or maybe you minimize your own needs because you believed they did not matter, which led to all sorts of unhealthy boundaries. We could go on and on about the injuries of such invalidation, but I am not a psychologist and that is not the place we want to dwell.
But can you relate to any of these things?
It might be a good time to pause and appreciate there may be no benefit in remembering neglectful caregivers with resentment, bitterness, or anger. Those emotions will not make amends where there is historical wreckage, and can even smolder into more destruction. How incredibly difficult this is, I get it. But, how healing it could be to instead empathize with those caregivers. (Ouch, I know) After all, it is very likely they were also neglected or damaged by someone in their life. The truth is, the story of neglect probably did not start with you.
When we fully grasp and accept that we are all humans prone to sin, it can soften our hearts toward those who have hurt us. It was nothing you did wrong. Rather it is the brokenness in us all which does not excuse bad behavior, but sheds light on it. How can we hold it against them when they were also hurting too? Instead, we must learn from Jesus.
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:34
I can't help but return to all I know about the Israelites. Oh how they kept turning from God, neglecting His graciousness, rebelling. And yet. Ugh. We know how that went for them.
Anyway, switching gears, let’s consider the story of Ruth. And such a sweet story it is. Ruth, and her mother-in-law Naomi, after tragically losing the men in their lives and living through famine, fled to a strange land where Naomi had a distant relative, Boaz. The women show up with nothing, and Boaz felt somehow compelled to take care of them. He considers their distant familial ties and bears responsibility for them when he did not have to.
Ruth, still being young, was offered as a wife to several of the elders in the town, but none were interested. It was an honor for women to be handed over in marriage, a stable life of being cared for. So Boaz married her himself, giving her security and family. Boaz would not neglect Ruth, he instead took her in and g a v e h e r h o n o r.
Let that sink in.
Boaz was presented with a situation he could have walked away from, but instead he chose to step up. A love story for sure, but more a story of leaning in to a responsibility rather than shy away from it. He was willing to be used by God. Boaz and Ruth would go on to have children…who had children…who then had King David. And several generations beyond David would come Jesus himself.
Honoring an opportunity by Boaz eventually brought about a Savior for you and me.
What an amazing outcome from one man who refused to reject one widowed woman.
He refused to neglect her.
And God refuses to neglect us.
Today in modern America, and just like Boaz, we are faced with opportunities to bravely step up to the plate and give our best swing for the whole kingdom, or we can walk up and fake an injury, stepping out. So how can we show up and give our best in every opportunity? How can be be obedient and uphold honor?
I admit having neglected at one time or another, my health, home, body, mind, finances, job, friendships, responsibilities, family, and husband. I have neglected the Word, and God. Yikes. I am such an Israelite. The shorter list would be things I have not neglected. And this grieves me.
They have abandoned the Lord; they have despised the Holy One of Israel; they have turned their backs on him. Isaiah 1:4
Next if we look at the book of Joshua, we see another willing heart who did not neglect an opportunity. Joshua went on to conquest many cities for the Lord, having such great faith in God's sovereign power to bring about victory. He was obedient and attentive, not passive or careless. That is what Joshua did, leaving nothing undone of all that the Lord had commanded Moses. Joshua 11:15. Joshua stepping up and caring for what God had entrusted him with secured the Promised Land for the Israelites. What potential outcomes could come from our willingness to steward well?
Right now is when we can start to change that. Break the generational cycle that apparently started before Christ. First, we can identify things or people or responsibilities we are shying away from…leaving unattended. Are there people in your life whose needs you are ignoring? Are there duties or responsibilities you are avoiding? Is your health or body something you’d rather not deal with? Are you dismissing God's word, or commands?
When we leave things uncared for, unprotected, they become dangerous opportunities for Satan to go prowling. Neglect relationships, and distance can grow into strangeness and misunderstanding. When we neglect our bodies it opens up opportunities for fleshly desires to rule, or disease to grow. And when we neglect our faith and obedience, we can become lukewarm, like that stale bathwater. Neglect the Word and lies take hold. Neglect the harvest, famine will come.
My heart today as I write is filled with encouragement and energy as I seek new ways to grow in my own stewardship. My husband and I have spent time talking through this and are helping each other to see opportunities we might need to step in to, and carefully correct what we’ve ignored. I think of 100 sheep and not even one was to be forgotten.
This week I grabbed on to the scripture we recently studied from the book of Matthew. All things have been entrusted to me by my Father. Matt 11:27. Oh how beautiful that is…and also how weighty the gift. We have been entrusted friends…with so, so much. We ought not neglect or abandon or dismiss or reject a single one.
First, they were entrusted with the very words of God.
Romans 3:2
I am reminded to let go of regrets of things or people that I have left unattended, and focus on what I CAN do now with all I have been endowed. You see, if we neglect what we have been entrusted with, we are not ready to be trusted with it. But when we care well for others, and all we have, God will use us to reflect His very own goodness. We have this day to stop the pattern of negligence.
No we can not do it all, but we can do much. May each of us awaken, and grow in that place today. Walk in freedom up to the plate, and swing.
Comments