Discipline: steward all things well.

“Discipline is the difference between what you want now, and what you want most.” - Abraham Lincoln

This blog is often about difficult things, heavy things, so it seems long overdue to write a lighter post, from a coaching perspective. Today we will talk about a tool for health and wellness: discipline. One of my closest friends, co-worker and fellow coach, Courtney, is joining me in this conversation. We will write this post together with our hundreds of coaching clients in mind…as we ourselves journey toward overall health, wellness and joy. This post began last year and was tabled for a multitude of reasons. So today, we are both here to complete a task we started and hope it encourages you!

Michelle: My alarm went off at 5 am this morning and I considered laying in bed a little longer. Then, once I deflected sabotaging thoughts, I rose quickly in obedience. This is how I have to do much of my life - in a rhythm of obedience. Because honestly, if left to my own thoughts and urges, I would rarely get anywhere, or accomplish anything. Or I would have already ran off a cliff somewhere. Because I can often stand in my own way of doing anything worthwhile.

So in sequence, without overthinking (or thinking at all), I got up and headed for the coffee grinder. Then to sit with my bible. Again, obedience friends. Mixed with lots of muscle memory. After some time with the Lord and coffee, I changed into my running clothes and headed to the gym (or now, barre class). Ugh. I’d rather have crawled back in bed for sure, but I kept moving without stopping long enough to talk myself out of it. Building momentum.

Alas, after a great workout, the release of positive endorphins wildly sparked my mood like fire crackers and my feelings caught up with (and thanked) my obedience.  I immediately felt so grateful for this routine. As is the case every time. Often, obedience or muscle memory is what gets me moving, and positive feelings follow. Have you ever really regretted a workout? Probably not. Then time for a shower, making the bed and getting some nutritional fuel. More routine. A schedule that keeps me in check, and free of mental clutter.

There are no props in order, no brag worthy pat on the back is deserved. I recognize this is absolutely no credit to myself. Regardless of what people think about willpower, it is straight up muscle memory for me. If I miss one of the steps in my routine, I can tumble out of line and my day can go sideways. And I'll add that I was not always like this. I was out of focus most of my life, lazy even, so this discipline is a more recent practice for me.

So perhaps I can encourage you that it’s never too late to start.

Courtney: Discipline and self-control go hand in hand. Some things are easier to control yourself in. For instance, do you wake up and want to start your day on a good note? How do you practice the self-control to make that happen? Through discipline. I’ve never found discipline to be more challenging than when I became a parent. With the lack of sleep and routine that it brings, it became necessary to adapt to what my child needed, when he needed it, and not when I wanted to do it. Being adaptable is also part of any kind of discipline - spiritual, mental, and physical. We can plan and prepare for what we want, but curve balls will come. And that is where grace comes in. First, we have to accept the grace that God gives us when discipline doesn’t come natural, because it doesn’t for most- at least not long-term. Then, we have to give ourselves grace and be willing to adapt so that we can remain steadfast in the practice of discipline.

It all points back to Him. Surrendering our control to Him and trusting that He will provide us with the tools we need to be disciplined.

Michelle: Listening to your body is where the practice of discipline begins. Our bodies were created by a brilliant God to work at their best, when properly fueled and treated well. We were created to move, so we have joints and ligaments. We were created to rest, so there is recovery that occurs when we sleep. We were created to be nourished well and will suffer consequences when we don't. If we listen, our body will tell us what it needs and reject what it doesn’t. Our body was designed to be a resource.

Next, your schedule serves as another resource for your discipline. What does your morning routine look like? Is it daunting? Hectic? Slow starting? Are you tight with your schedule or do you free flow it? There is nothing inherently wrong with either, I enjoy both a good free flow as well as structure. I ask though because I have found that the beginning of my day is rather important. Can our morning set the background for every priority we have, and reveal much about us and the position of our hearts? If your morning is starting frazzled, chances are frazzled will set the pace for your day. It also stops being a resource for you and instead drains you. But allowing ourselves to develop a morning routine that honors our minds, bodies and spirits is a sure way to set our day in motion for good. Then it becomes a useful resource in your pracice of discipline. Once a routine is created, it will take intentional desire to keep it going.

Discipline helps us ready our whole being for purpose and for flourishing.

As a health and wellness coach, I've spent countless hours with people who were struggling to be more disciplined. They felt inept because they lacked ‘willpower’. And for the life of me, I haven’t discovered a formula. From what I’ve seen, you either want it or you don’t. The road to building muscle memory is not easy…but it is 100 percent available to us. And once it’s built, flexing it becomes easier each day. From long time couch potato to avid runner, I know this to be true.

Courtney: I’ve seen so many people pick up a new routine with no issue. They start strong and it lasts for a few days or weeks, then when the routine gets thrown off, discipline starts to become much more challenging, and it feels hard to keep up. So, how does discipline stick around? Through the muscle memory created through rhythms and routine.

I have asked hundreds of people what their “why” is. Why do you want to make changes in your life? Why do you want to achieve this goal? I’ve heard a lot of reasons- my family, a big event coming up, to feel better, look better, etc. But I have found that if my “why” is everlasting- to honor God with my life and actions, it will be more firmly rooted. To be in alignment with the Holy Spirit by taking good care of my mind, body, and soul, and become physically disciplined so that mental discipline follows, it is then I can see God work in my life to bring everything together as one. Just as we are with Him.

Michelle: Self discipline can present itself in various ways. Perhaps with exercise and nutrition. What we eat and drink, or how often we move. Maybe through household chores and responsibilities that keep your home functioning properly. We do mundane routines like brushing our teeth and folding the laundry as a result of training, not necessarily desire or feeling. Maybe financial discipline guides you, following a budget, closely monitoring spending. Perhaps your current discipline is sobriety. There are many areas of our lives we need to maintain discipline, or self control in. The basic good news is this, if you are already in the habit of brushing your teeth every day, or or taking out the trash when its full, then you can discipline yourself in any other difficult area.

Muscle memory develops through practice and repetition, and is available to us all.   

So back to the importance of a morning routine, the start of your day. What do you want it to look like? And how far off is it now from what you want it to look like? What are the next right steps (even small ones), to move you closer to what you want it to look like? What barriers or challenges are getting in the way and how can you mitigate them? These are the kinds of questions coaches ask clients. Asking yourself these questions is where you can start to design your own routine.

Another important form of discipline is spiritual. There is a plethora of scriptural evidence that suggests we ought bring ourselves under wise self-governance with regard to our bodies, thoughts, actions and priorities. All of which benefit our spiritual and physical nourishment. We were not really created to free-flow, wandering aimlessly through this world. Can you imagine what would have happened had Jesus chased butterflies all day instead of staying obedient to the mission He had? Every single thing Jesus did was with a purpose in mind. We also know that God provided supplies and instructions, and gave Adam and Eve responsibilities to tend to from the very beginning.

Without reducing discipline to be something based on our own ability, it is surely much easier to build up with the power of God working in us.  When we practice self discipline, we are living in obedience to Gods word.

Don't you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. Now everyone who competes exercises self control in everything. They do it to receive a perishable crown, but we an imperishable crown. So I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline by body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Courtney: Discipline is HARD in the moment, and at most times. It’s never been easy to establish discipline in my experience. But when I see or feel the results, I am always grateful that I chose discipline over ease. My want for ease and comfort can quickly take over my desire to be disciplined. However, when God is training me in discipline, I can rest in knowing that He is preparing me for something else to come. Maybe it’s a physical ailment. Maybe it’s a hardship I never saw coming. Maybe it’s to show my neighbors that hard things can be done when they are made a priority. Maybe it’s for a reason I’ll never know. I trust that He is using my discipline for a greater purpose, whether I can see that or not.

Michelle: In examining our priorities, where does our spiritual life fall? Do we have some scheduled time with the Lord in our routine? Do you make sure that prayer happens each day? Do you govern your thoughts and desires? Do you maintain self control in response to fleshly temptations of this world?

2 Timothy is where we find ourselves. One of the richest letters of the Bible where we find we have a ‘holy calling’, having Gods word deposited in us.

He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.

2 Timothy 1:9

In my bible, I have a doodled summary of the entire book of 2 Timothy in one sentence:

Do all I can, with all I have, as long as I can.

Regardless of whether its our health, our bodies, our chores or our quiet time, we have been entrusted and under great responsibility to prioritize them all. Think of the people, time, possessions, responsibilities, opportunities and gospel truths you have been entrusted with. All of them, including your body, are gifts to steward. This may make you feel pressured or burdened, but take heart, the truth is, we do not carry all this on our own.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and self control.

2 Timothy 1:7

We can never have enough willpower to accomplish on our own the very things God wants to partner with us in. It is only through the power of Christ we can do anything at all. 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13.

It is only through the power of the Lord in us that we are able. Because He is able. Your own flesh and bone cannot handle the load…there is just too much to do. We can rest easy, Jesus has it covered. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30…Meaning when we seek first the Kingdom, our burdens become light. When we honor God with all we have, He sustains us. If you are honoring God with your time, your schedule will become easy. If you seek to honor God with your home, your chores become easy. Honor God with your body, it becomes more viable.

God builds our muscle memory with His truths, His word and His power.

Courtney: So, what does discipline look like in every day life? It looks like waking up and being persistent in laying your day and your life down at the Lord’s feet. Inviting Him into your busyness and asking Him to give you the discipline and self-control to stick to what you plan, but be flexible to move things around or prioritize differently when He asks you to. Kids wake up early or your morning goes awry? Etch some time out in the afternoon to meet with Him. Worship Him in the car. Pray over your friends and your family. Move your workout to your kid’s nap time or get them to workout with you to worship music. Ask a friend to take a class with you and try something new. Go for a walk and listen to worship or talk to God. The most important thing is that you just do it. You just keep showing up and working towards your goals, and give yourself grace when things look different than you hoped or planned. Trust that He will discipline you in the areas that need it and help you flourish because you listened to Him. He is good.

Michelle: As we can see, there is a clear connection between our daily practices (disciplines) and our holy calling. If we are seeking to honor God in all things, we will prioritize well and get done what needs be done. It’s really not even that difficult…when we live to honor God, things unworthy of our time and attention will fall away. That pursuit will trim away the excess fat and trim away what is not needed in our days. We will live in a way that bears fruit, in our spiritual, emotional and physical lives. We will live with joy and gratitude.

I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don't do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law...

Galatians 5:16-18

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. The law is not against such things.

Galatians 5:22-23