worth: eternal measuring.

For anyone who has ever been on a high mountain top, enjoying the view from way up, soaking in sunshine, yet scanning the horizon for the next storm, this post may be for you. It’s where I often find myself. Have you ever been experiencing joy in the Lord or abundant peace and yet waiting for the next attack? Yeah…I get you.

I am not a doomsayer, or hopeless. I don’t see the glass half empty. But there is a real doubt and trepidation that enters my mind when things are going smoothly. As if I can’t trust it. I seem to stay more hyper alert than the people around me and it often settles like a knot in my gut. This is something that has perplexed me for most of my Christian life, maybe it has you too. It is my prayer today we can line up our thinking with the truth of scripture.

So back to my question: why is it difficult to simply enjoy the high points? Accept Gods abundant and faithful peace without looking for the catch? Why do we lie in wait for the next battle, staying in a state of angst of where the next arrow will come from? Why do we EXPECT pain and sorrow are always in the waiting?

I have grown a lot in this area over the last year, by not letting this angst govern me.  I thank re:generation for that and how God refined me during the 12 step recovery process. Before, I would have had trouble even enjoying the view from up high…but now I can usually enjoy it. And I do! But still, when I am fully aware and grateful for every good gift from the Lord that touches my moments, I feel this darkness lurking around the corner, breathing down the back of my neck whispering I am unworthy of such joy and goodness. Sometimes, I confess, I have even sabotaged His goodness.

Or worse, I have doubted His goodness.

Where does this inner dialogue come from? Either that gloom is actually lurking around the corner or that we are unworthy of the easy going times He gives us? Inner narratives that are both lies and truths. And that’s what makes it deeply perplexing. It’s not totally wrong to expect trials - scripture DOES promise we will have them. So waiting for the next gloom and doom isn’t as nuts as we might think. There is truth in that. We live in a broken world that is awaiting full redemption and until Jesus returns, we WILL have troubles. And to another point, we can experience trials and joy at the very same time. We have one foot in this broken world where things are impaired and one foot in a glorious Heaven where our eternal hope lies.

But the narrative of being unworthy of any goodness of God is a wrong story we might tell ourselves. That’s the story that needs correcting. Because for Christians, nothing could be further from truth.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

The blood shed on the cross argues for our worth. Not in anything we do or any merit we achieve but simply based on the truth that He created us in HIS image. We are image bearers of God. That means He created each of us, uniquely but similarly, as representatives of Himself. We are suitable to receive His goodness because He is our perfect blueprint and declares us so. Apart from God, we are not worthy. But if you proclaim Jesus as your Savior, you have abundant worth.

For you were bought with a price. 1 Corinthians 6:20

Aren’t five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in Gods sight. Indeed, the hairs on your head are all counted. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7

When we experience Gods goodness and provision, we are best aligned with truth by receiving these moments as gifts from a good, good Father. Spending less time dreading what’s ahead and more time in gratitude for the mountain top you're standing on is a good way to honor what He’s doing in your life. For the mercy of the present moment, celebrate! Yes, trials will come in this world. We know this and can loosely expect them. But to loom that over any current goodness of the moment is robbing Him of the glory due and threatens our experiential belief of the gospel. And when those troubles come, still, you celebrate. I think of Habikuk, who witnessed awful doom all around and still expressed a tender confidence in God. It’s a reminder that when we, while full, enjoy God in all, will also when empty, enjoy all in God.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! Habikuk 3:18

Your worthiness my friends is not determined by the standards of this world, your past, your sin, your education, your status, your struggle, your clothing, your weight, or any other fleeting measuring point. Your worth is of an eternal nature - determined by the God of the universe who only has one measuring stick - Jesus.