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Michelle Hatter

memories: remembering our first love.

Updated: Mar 10, 2023



At times I find myself forgetting the smallest and most recent things. What was it I went to the cabinet for? Where did I just leave my phone? What was I supposed to pick up at the store? Apparently short term memory receptors are frayed in my brain. Yet with amazing clarity, I can recall the address where I spent many years of my childhood. I can recite old drivers license numbers, old phone numbers, so many numbers, things I no longer have any use for. And most definitely some things I’d rather forget. This both fascinates and frustrates me all the same.


In some ways, our memories can be both a blessing and a curse. If only I could select which fragments I preserve, and which ones to let go of. What an art that would be!


Let’s see if we can’t learn to guide our memories and either use them for good or lay them to rest for peace. Siphon which ones bless, and which ones curse. And according to scripture, there are both things we are instructed to forget, and things we are called to remember.


It is interesting that in all the things I often forget, they include some of the most important things in my life. Ways God has provided for me, promises he has made to me, and places he has rescued me from. And I often forget the very thing Jesus calls me to do: Remember Him. Likewise, I often remember much of my past and sometimes with a nostalgic longing I should not have - remember Lotts wife. I sometimes fear that someday I will be ruminating on something God has called me to forget and I too will turn into a pillar of salt. That fear alone can usually redirect my thoughts, sometimes not.


Here are few places in scripture we are given some instruction on remembering.


  • We are told to remember from where we have fallen, Rev 2:5

  • Jesus teaches his disciples to break bread and eat it in remembrance of His body, Luke 22:19

  • We are given the Holy Spirit to help us remember all we have been instructed, John 14:26

  • Moses tells us to remember the days of old and consider the years of many generations, Duet 32:7

  • God gives the 4th commandment to remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy, Ex 20:8

  • Asaph sings a song of remembering the works of the Lord, Psalm 77:11


The list could go on and on. The word ‘remember’ appears in various Hebrew and Greek forms at least 250 times in the Bible.


There are also plenty of scripture addressing forgetting.


  • Peter warns the people to not be blind spiritually, which means they have forgotten purification from former sins, 2 Peter 1:9

  • We are told Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, for God made him forget all his troubles, Genesis 41:51

  • We are instructed to not fear, for we will not be disgraced but will forget the shame of our youth, Is 54:4

  • We are given the freedom to forget former things and not dwell on the past, for He is making something new, Is 43:18

  • We are warned of not forgetting our first love, Rev 2:4

  • Paul reminds the people to forget things which are behind and reach forward to things ahead, pressing on toward the goal of the upward call of Jesus, Phil 3:13

  • Job is told he will forget his suffering, recalling it as water that has flowed by, Job 11:16


As we can see, the Bible is filled with things to forget and things to remember. I guess the reality is I am not the only one who forgets. Perhaps people in the beginning also had bad recall. All these passages can seem a bit confusing and even conflicting in some ways.


Pressing ahead, what does all this mean for us? If we glance at the overall themes in these verses, it becomes clear that there may be a lesson or two here.


First, let’s talk about what to forget. We are to forget things which no longer have a hold on us - things like shame, guilt, sin, troubles - and remember them no more. More so, forget the feelings we have attached to them which can easily become stumbling stones for us. For we are made new. Ruminating over the way you used to act, or the things you said, or the sins you committed are not bringing you closer to God - they are making room for the enemy of lies to drop a barrier in between you and God. We can forget the things that bring us shame and guilt, and remember instead how God delivered us from all that junk. Forget what we did and instead focus on what Jesus did for us.


Where we shine the light on our memories is important, and can be a stepping stone to freedom and joy, or a stumbling block to lies and temptation.


Now, let’s talk about what we are told to remember. We are to remember the things that work toward our sanctification and deepen our dependence on Him - things like Gods promises, the ways He has rescued us, provided for us, the wonders He has performed. All He has done and will still do. We are to remember the commandments and all we have been instructed. Moses drills into the Israelites to be careful not to forget the Lord and all He had done for them in Deuteronomy 8.


But there is one verse I keep coming back to that has been stirring in my heart lately, Revelation 2:4-5. In this letter to the church of Ephesus, John receives revelation from God that the people have abandoned, forgotten, their first love. He tells them to remember from how far they have fallen; repent and do the works they did at first. For then if they hear those words and overcomes these things, they will receive the right to eat from thee tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.


Even in Genesis chapter 35, God instructed Jacob to get up and go build an altar to the God who appeared to him when Jacob fled Esau. Jacob needed to return to his first love; his conversion moment.


So what is our first love? If we can recall our salvation experience it is here we locate our ‘first love’. The moment we first surrendered to Jesus, gave him our hearts, and admitted our need for a Savior. That moment in time, no matter what age you were or where you were, is precious to God. And should be precious to us. Can you remember that moment, the moment you gave your heart to God and a holy seal was placed upon you? Even in my lack of effective recollection, I can recall that moment with such sweet clarity. If you can’t, it’s ok, pray about that. Ask God to stir that memory in you. Ask Him to take you back to your first love moment.


It is there we are to begin the remember road. The place from which we were rescued (death) and the path to which we were placed upon (life). When we recall our salvation moment we can recognize changes that have developed in us, in our lives, in our faith. We can see where God has done His best work in us, and the evidence of our faith is rooted. This moment started our lives over in Him and from there forward…that is what is valuable in our memory bank.


This call to remember our first love also brings about another thought. I can’t help but think of one simple line in 1 John, 4:19. We love because he first loved us. So perhaps our first love is God himself - it was He who loved me first, and you first. God is our one and only first love.


Remember Him.


If I put these two verses together, the warning becomes clear.


We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned your first love. Rev 2:4-5


How can we honor God and remember our first love? First, get our priorities in order. Put God first, in all things. Take a deep breath and remember where you’ve been rescued from. Then we can go back to the basics, when we fell in love with Jesus. Finally, accept the love of God in your deepest heart as the first one to have ever loved you…before even placed in your mother’s womb. He is our first love and we are not to forget or abandon him.


Maybe you need to prioritize time in the word, or in prayer, or fasting, or worship. Those are the first works we can do to deepen our relationship with God and reestablish the things we ought prioritize to remember. Memorize a verse so that your heart is never without Gods word. Remember ways you have felt Gods presence in your life or seen his work. Remember who God is; which is the first step in honoring him.


Next you might need to repent and confess that you have forgotten your first love. I surely have. Have you neglected the gift of grace? Have you ignored His commandments? Have you turned from being obedient? Have you taken your faith for granted? Ask God to help you return. Rely on His word, promises and past miracles.


I am learning that if I spend more of my memory bank on this one thing then the rest of my memories seem to work themselves out. I can both focus and let go better. We can rest in these things and free up the pressure to remember all the details of the day and when we have forgotten God, the only answer is to remember Him.




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